New Blog For Epiphany Dance Theatre!!

I’m so excited about the dance company that Gina Beacham and I started this past year. We are about to set the dates for our next two shows, and we have a couple churches that are interested in hosting us!! Our new blog/website and facebook page will hopefully be a tool we can us to generate more interest in our work. Here are the links:

Click here to view our blog.

Click here to view Facebook.

I’m ready to turn 25!

One year ago I turned 24 on the 24th of July: Golden birthday – golden year – a time of growth and fruitful work. After so many years of discouragement and sickness, I’ve been thriving in a state of health – finally. I’ve become a professional dancer, teacher, and choreographer. I started my own dance ministry, and my heart has been lit on fire because God has finally opened the doors for my dreams to come true. I attacked this year with all the passion that has been stored up in my heart. I’m amazed at all that God has done since I moved home to Texas – nothing that I could have done in my own strength or brain power. I couldn’t have planned all of this, but I’m enjoying the ride! Now that I’m about to turn 25, I want to look back on my golden year and list the major things that matter to me:

Graduated from Ohio State University
Got a teaching Job
Started dancing professionally
Started working for an event management company
Started Epiphany Dance Theatre with my good friend, Gina Beacham
Gina and I started choreographing and performing our own works
Got another teaching job

Gym membership
Started paying for my own health insurance
Bought my first car – 1999 Toyota Corolla
Got into an accident
Paid to get my car fixed with my own money (felt really good!)
Started paying off my college loans

I got into the best shape and health of my life
Lost 15 pounds
Started loving the way I dance – stopped being overly critical of myself
Started this blog!

I joined eHarmony! (Not the best experience…but at least I tried!)
I gave dating a chance
Broke a few hearts and got hurt myself
Realized that I’m tougher than I thought
Realized that I’m not desperate
Started trusting God for the first time – even though I feel lonely at times…
Cancelled eHarmony – good riddance!

Enjoyed watching the Office, Lost, Heroes, Monk, Psych and many other shows
Talked about Racquetball with my dad almost everyday!
Watched my brother, Tim, play amazing wheelchair basketball
Met Dirk Nowitzki and Jason Kidd and watched Tim shoot hoops with them!!

Spent quality time with my long time girl friends (Katie Ellwood, Gail Gaffin, Katie Irwin, and Lindy Murphy)… Love you guys so much!!

It was such a good year, and I could list pages and pages of things that God has done. I’m hopeful that my 25th will be just as fruitful…. I’m ready for anything! Ready to become an even better dancer. Ready to meet my future husband. Ready to be single. Ready to fall in love. Ready to trust God if He chooses to take everything away. Basically, I’m ready for the adventure.

Faith. Hope. Love.

For the things that are in the past
Fortify me with Faith
For the things that are in the future
Brighten me with Hope
For the things that are in this moment
Find me with Love

Because my past is powerless without Faith
Because my future is dark without Hope
Because this moment is lost without Love

Summer Theme: To feel like a kid again.

I usually give my summers a title/theme to inspire myself to push forward in pursuing my dreams. My birthday is on July 24th, so my summer theme usually turns into a year long pursuit. I use it to keep myself from getting discouraged because the two core dreams I desire are really out of my control: I want to find my niche as a professional dancer/choreographer and fall in love. I’m aware it’s going to take a lifetime for God to bring these two things to fruition so, for now, I’ll keep setting goals to give the journey a little breath of fresh air.

Here are the past themes I set for myself:

Summer 2005 – To be in motion, to listen in, to see
Summer 2006 – Adventure here I come
Summer 2007 – Supercallifragilisticexpialidocious!!
Summer 2008 – “The hills are alive with the sound of music”

This summer, I think that it’s important for me to start letting my heart dream and feel like a kid again. There are so many things in this life that are so difficult and serious – but that doesn’t mean that I have to take myself so seriously. I can’t forget about all of the blessings. I can’t forget about the simple things. When I was a kid, I spent my summers in my tree house and at the beach (we lived in California). I didn’t worry about how my body looked or about the boys around me. I did what I loved each day, kissed my parents goodnight, and slept with a smile on my face. This summer and this year, I’d like to get back to that kind of simplicity.

“Preach the gospel at all times. If necessary, use words.” -St. Francis

I’m reading, “The Normal Christian Life,” by Watchman Nee and finding myself praising God for His gifts, His forgiveness, and His abundant blessings in my life. I’m reminded how important it is that I live with integrity and purity (in both my body and mind – in the things I do and the things I say).

Lately, I’ve been worrying too much about how to make things better and please people. With every choice, I feel obligated to explain my actions to everyone – trying to make both my Christian and non-Christian friends understand and approve of my life – lest they look at me and think I’m foolish….

PLEASING PEOPLE IS EXHAUSTING!!

I’m starting to see that God wants me to live more authentically than that. Because, if I’m living my life with the authenticity of Christ (which is the ultimate goal), people are not going to be pleased with me. Non Christians will think I’m weird and no fun, and the hypocritical Christians will look at my life and feel convicted (thus they will not want to know me no matter what I say because the nature of my life makes them see the things that God wants them to change… and change is really hard when sin is involved).

My calling is not to fix people or circumstances. It isn’t to be a people pleaser.

My calling isn’t to be a person that is too sweet to stand up, and it isn’t to be so abrasive that people are nervous to ask me for help. I’m called to love people!

I heard a quote once that said, “when the going gets tough, the tough get going,” and I think that is the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard. If I ever become a tough person, it’s because I’ve stopped fighting against the abrasive elements in this world. It’s easy to give in and be tough, and it’s another thing to fight to be loving. I’m called to be a fighter!

I’m challenged to really re-evaluate my life – my purpose – my choices. No more explanations… more action…. no more compromise…more fighting…. No more worry….more love!

To be Successful or to be Godly

Let me first start out explaining (for the purposes of this post) what I’m thinking when I use the word “success,” and what I mean when I say “Godly,” because I feel that my life is a constant fluctuation between wanting one of the two or both.

When I think of success, I relate it to the outward things that the people I love can tangibly see around me: my dancing, my health, the way my body looks, the productivity of my work, the achievements in my dance career, how well my new company is doing, and my friendships and relationships – all great things to desire and dream about.

When I think of being Godly, I think about living life with God. It relates to all the things going on underneath the surface: my attitude, my feelings, and my thoughts. It’s all about trusting God, taking time to sit in awe at how amazing Christ is…. Desiring only His simplicity and will for my life….living with hands wide open…letting go of my constant desire to be perfect – to be successful.

The word “successful” sounds positive, but in my life, when success is the focus, it’s almost always leads to constant worry and disappointment. I’m talking about being successful in man’s eyes, not God’s eyes. I’m talking about always striving to be better, better, better! “That’s not enough, Melissa.” “You need to be thinner.” “It’s time rise to the occasion.” “Stand up for what you deserve.” “Be better, faster, and stronger.” In my mind, when I strive to be successful, I’m trying to do it on my own terms, in my own strength, on my on time, and without any trust in my Lord.

When my focus is on being “Godly,” or, more importantly, “with God,” all my other desires seem to fall into place…you might even say that I become successful! When I’m living life with my Lord, my heart is protected and alive, my eyes are clear, and my head understands, in His perfect timing, what each new step in my life is intended to look like. My focus must always be on the Lord not on success, because for me, success is only fantastic when it’s given to me, not by my own strength, but by the strength and will of the One who loves me.

Some awesome scripture for you: (please take the time to read it!!)

Matthew 6: 19-34

Treasures in Heaven
“Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

“The eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are good, your whole body will be full of light. But if your eyes are bad, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light within you is darkness, how great is that darkness!

“No one can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and Money.

Do Not Worry

“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?

“And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Epiphany Dance Theatre

For those of you that have wanted to see video of Epiphany Dance Theatre’s first show…here it is! I had to section it off into four different videos….

Boy with a Coin: Choreography: Gina Beacham and Melissa Nagel
Performers: Melissa Nagel, Autumn Sicking,
Nicole Womack, and Gina Beacham

It is Well with My Soul: Choreography: Melissa Nagel
Performers: Shannon and Christa Beacham

Confess: Choreographed and Performed by Courtney Beacham

Come Back: Choreographed by Gina Beacham
Performers: Melissa Nagel, Autumn Sicking,
Gina Beacham, Christa Beacham

For those of you that don’t know what Epiphany Dance Theatre is, I would love to tell you! We are a new company of professional dancers lead under the direction of myself and Gina Beacham whose mission is to choreograph and perform dance works that will communicate the love and power of Jesus Christ.

We perform wherever God calls us! From the theatre to the platform at your church, we feel that dance can communicate things that words cannot express, and we believe that God can use this to touch people’s hearts. We are a professional dance ministry open to whatever God has for us.

We performed for the first time on May 1st at the Courtyard Theatre. Please enjoy the following videos….

Come and support Courtney!

I’m inadvertently a thief!!

I was drinking coffee with my friend, Ellen. It was hot outside. Ellen gave her dog (that was tied up to the chair next to us) some water in her water bowl. We had a lovely time talking, and then, they had to leave. I decided to stay a bit longer…

After soaking up some glorious sun, I noticed that the water bowl was still there. At first, I started to shamefully walk away pretending that I didn’t notice it. But then, my conscience barked at me: “No, Melissa, Ellen is your friend. If you had a dog and a water bowl as cute as that one, wouldn’t you want her to pick it up for you? She’s going to need her water bowl!! Go back at pick it up – you big baby!!” I talked back to myself saying, “okay, okay, you big jerk, I’ll go back and pick up that dirty bowl and give it back to her!!”

I sauntered back, scooped it up, dumped the water with several bugs floating around in it, and put it in my car. Then, I valiantly informed Ellen that I saved her water bowl (expecting praise for my lovability).

However, to my surprise, Ellen told me that she never left her bowl at starbucks, and that the bowl I have belongs to the coffee shop I know and love!! I’m a horrible person!!

Now what do I do? Sneak back and put the bowl where I found it and run away? Will anyone notice it?

Why I love the things I love…. It’s mostly my parents fault

Just some observations:

Let’s start with Get Smart, the original TV show:

I grew up with my dad quoting it. It was one of his favorite TV shows. I get excited and feel like a kid every time I watch it. For Christmas this last year, the boys and I bought Dad the entire series on DVD.

The Beatles, Keith Green, Boston, Chicago, Toto,
I love all of them! As soon as I hear the sweet sounds of one of these bands, I go weak in the knees! I blame my Mom and Dad!!

I could go on and on…. And it’s not just bands/tv shows from the past. For example, my parents love the office, Lost, and Psyche… guess who loves them too…me

My parents love the Lord…. So do I….

So, am I a puppet? A poser?

Nope, I’m the real deal. I think for myself. It just so happens that I think like my parents! They’re cool people.

Cheers to My Dad

This past week, my parents were going through a bunch of old cassette tapes that we had stored away in the attic. They were about to be trashed, but my dad salvaged some at the last minute. We all gathered around the last cassette player in our IPod and IPhone infested home and listened in. My dad’s voice from 20 years ago filled my ears. He was talking to me as a 4 year old girl telling me that whenever I missed him when he was away on business that I could just pop my tape into my fisher price tape player and listen to him read me Peter Rabbit. He told me over and over again how much he loved me and wanted to provide for me. “That’s why I have to go away a lot, Missy. I go away so that I can make money so that we can move into that big house with a big backyard.”

Oh how lucky I am! My relationship with my Dad hasn’t really changed much over all the years. Through everything, he has been my hero – my stronghold, and, because of that, I’m able to understand God’s love better. My childhood was filled with laughter and adventure. He encouraged me in my dreams. He drove me to dance 6 days a week (sometimes seven) and attended every show I performed in (telling me that I never fail to bring tears to his eyes). He’s been with me through thick and thin.

When I informed him that I never wanted to go to college and that I wanted to move Mississippi to dance, he supported me in it. When I failed and needed to move back home, he welcomed me with open arms. When I thought I wanted to be a missionary and moved to Montana to join YWAM’s dance company, he helped raise money for me to do it. When I realized in Montana (3 months later) that I wanted to move home and go to college, he didn’t laugh at me!! When I told him that I wanted to transfer from CCCC to Ohio State to study dance, he took out loans for me to go and gave me his blessing! When I moved back home and performed recently at the Eismann Center, he was in the audience cheering me on.

Oh, I am so spoiled and blessed! I’m so thankful for my amazing Dad who loves me that much!

You’re Never Fully Dressed Without a Smile

We all have scars to mark the wounds we have suffered as a result of our own damaging behavior or from the painful actions or words of others. Many times I try to forget about my own. I’m really good at ignoring them.

I believe our scars can help us become the people of God we were created to become. God uses them. For example, Joseph choose to trust God’s sovereign plan for his life. Speaking to his brothers who had betrayed and sold him, he stated, “you intended to harm me, but God intended it for good” (Genesis 50:20). He recognized his scars but he didn’t let them become burdens. He didn’t dwell in the past.

I wonder how many Christians are weighted down with excess baggage. I’m talking about anger, bitterness, or shame. I’ve let these things hold me back in my walk with Christ. I’ve let Satan distract me with memories from my past (people hurting me, heartache and loneliness, and mistakes). I often have a hard time sleeping because of it, and I get dressed most mornings without truly having a smile on my face (a smile that can only come from my heart).

I’m thankful for people like my brother that can see through my silliness and laughter. I’m thankful for the events that have happened over this past week that have inspired me to address things that I like to forget. I’m thankful that God’s ways are simple, and that He’s giving me a way to finally ease the burdens in my life.

I started taking action today, and I’m determined to become a woman that is free from the weight of the past and the fickleness of this world. One of the actions I’ve taken is deactivating my facebook account. I’ve also decided to take a vacation from dating, worrying about guys, and feeling alone. I’m done feeling alone because I’m not! I want to get ready every morning with a smile on my face knowing in my heart that I’m a daughter of the King.

I’m a blessed daughter of the King.

Anticipating Disaster and Adventure

I’ve been ready for disaster my entire life, and I’ve been anticipating an unexpected adventure. It’s almost like I want a startling catastrophe to strike. I want my world to rock., my knees to buckle, my heart to race, and my eyes to open – I want a reason to scream, to uncontrollably laugh, to run (either with joy or fear), to fight, and to passionately kiss an amazing guy because of his sheer irrepressible magnetism!

So, am I out of my mind that I hunger for an inferno of passion and adventure in my life? Am I doomed to be disappointed? I haven’t been so far….some of the things that are happening right now makes me feel so alive I could scream with delight. However, there are still quite a lot of things that I urgently hunger for.

If I don’t get those things, will I not be satisfied with my life and become my own worst enemy (setting standards that are too hard to reach)? My imagination has the capacity to consume me so much that I never feel fulfilled by reality.

More directly, will I find love that will, “make my knees buckle, heart race, and eyes open.” I hope so!  I find encouragement from the mouth of Dr. Seuss when he said, “you know you’re in love when you can’t fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.” At the present moment, I usually can’t wait to pull the covers over my eyes and enter into another one of my dream worlds.

I don’t need a full blown disaster, and I don’t need to be stranded on an island with Jensen Ackles to have an adventure (I’ve had that dream many times). Nevertheless, I feel my soul come alive when lightning strikes and my mind races with anticipation when the rain pounds on my window because maybe, just maybe, something amazing is about to happen.

God With Us: A Video Dance

With the help of my brothers, I was able to put together this project over Christmas break.  Please enjoy the entire movie (there is a special treat after the credits)!

Meeting Dirk and Kidd…

A Sunday Kind of Love

I came across one of my favorite songs by Etta James, “A Sunday Kind of Love,” and my heart screamed YES!  My dance project took shape.  Choreographically, the work turned into a comedy piece, which fit my personality so well. 

I see God in a Battement Tendu

Definition of a Battement Tendu: an action where the extended foot never leaves the floor. The working foot slides forward or sideways from the fifth or first position to reach the forth or second position, lifting the heel off the floor and stretching the instep. It forms the preparation for many other positions.

God sees everything and uses everything.  His timing is perfect, and he prepares us in His perfect timing.  From the simplicity of the gospel, He is able to give us the world!  We have to be patient – constantly perfecting the way in which we live before He reveals the amazing things He has for us ahead.

I was teaching a ballet class a couple days ago, and I could tell that the students were getting annoyed with my constant drilling of their battement tendus.  “When are we going to turn and leap”?  They asked…

I remember feeling the same way in ballet class, but my teacher told me that once I learned how to do a perfect battement tendu (the action that seems to be the most simplistic), it would open the door for me to attack any and all steps in the classical ballet vocabulary.  She was right!

Oh, isn’t that how our Christian walk is?  We have to work at the simple things of life for years.  There are things in life we desperately desire, but we have to wait for them and focus on perfecting the tasks He has put before us now.  Soon, we will be strong enough to attack the leaps and turns of life.

Hope for the Day

I’m choosing today to be full of hope.  The puzzle pieces of my life and heart seem so perplexing right now, but they will all fit together perfectly in the end.  I’m consoling myself in the assurance that God’s ultimate plan is so exceedingly good that words can’t justly describe it.  God knows how hard it is for me to stand still.  He knows I’m tired right now, but my hope is in Him.  Whatever my current lot, I can be sure that a magnificent and peaceful end is certain.

“I made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you.”
-Isaiah 46:4

“Be still and know that I am God.”
-Psalm 46:10

Something to think about…

“If I find in myself a desire which no experience in the world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world.” – Lewis

Thoughts on a song and some verses….

“His Eye is on the Sparrow”

Why should I feel discouraged
Why should the shadows come
Why should my heart feel lonely
And long for heaven and home
When Jesus is my portion
A constant friend is He
His eye is on the sparrow
And I know He watches over me
His eye is on the sparrow
And I know He watches me

I sing because I’m happy
I sing because I’m free
His eye is on the sparrow
And I know He watches me (He watches me)
His eye is on the sparrow
And I know He watches
I know He watches
I know He watches me

 

Some Verses:

Matthew 6:26
²⁶ Look at the birds of the air; they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they?

Matthew 10:29-31.
²⁹ Are not two sparrows sold for a farthing? and one of them shall not fall on the ground without your Father.
³⁰ But the very hairs of your head are all numbered.

³¹ Fear ye not therefore, ye are of more value than many sparrows.

My Thoughts:

The Lord loves us so much!  I should know this, but for some reason, I have to be reminded almost everyday. I get so caught up in the routine of life that I forget that I am “free.” I get so worried about my circumstances, money, future, and shortcomings that I forget that He is in control. I get so confused by my own heart and the things that I desire that I forget that “Jesus is my portion.” Here is the truth about my life: When I’m driving in my car and looking at the road ahead of me, I smile from a deep place because I have Jesus. I’m living a blessed life – and I can choose each day to remember that I am happy and free.

 

Don’t stop growing… Don’t stop living!

If we stop growing, we stop living!  Life is all about growing.  It shouldn’t stop once we hit adulthood.  There is so much in this world to learn and see, and there is so much that God has for us.  However, there are so many people that hit a plateau physically, spiritually, and mentally and they think, “okay… that’s good… I’ll just stay right here.”  That kind of living kills the soul.  It stops you from letting yourself dream.  It holds you back from your destiny.

A clear mission and purpose is vital for continuous growth and fruitfulness.  A person who saunters uselessly about each day, wondering what to do, will rarely find fulfillment in their lives.  We are each distinctively outfitted and gifted to exalt God in our words, activities, thoughts, and existence.  “And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus” (Colossians 3:17).  I believe that we are called to live each day to the full.

The challenge to all of us is to personalize our communal mission to glorify God.  We have to ask God: How can I glorify You with my money, my job, my relationships, and my choices?  This question can be scary for some to ask, because they’re afraid that they will get some vague answer like:  “Don’t ever have fun, and don’t eat ice cream!”  However, I believe that if we ask God to truly tell us what we need to do, He will give us clear and practical answers that will guide us in the way we need to live each day.  He knows us better than ourselves, and He will give us goals that we will be able attain!

For example, I know that my heart is drawn to dancing.  I know that God wants to use that part of my life.  Dance will forever be a part of the way I glorify God.  So, in order for me to grow in that area, I know that I need to be exercising and eating healthy.  I need to set aside time each day to be creative, and I need to protect myself by choosing not do certain activities that could possibly injure me (aka flag football).  In doing these things, my body is prepared for whatever dancing endeavors God has for me in the future.

We need to desire growth.  We need to be living!

Will I Fall On My Face?

There are so many variables in my life right now – things that are uncertain.  I have a ton of people relying on me.  I have a ton of expectations for myself.  I want employers to be impressed by my work ethic and mind power.  I want audiences to be impressed by what they see from me on the stage.  I want my dance directors to be impressed by my performance ability and my body, and I want all my students and their parents to be impressed by my teaching.

There are about five things (performances, events, plans) that are coming up that could result with me falling on my face.  However, these circumstances might also end in a magnificent round of applause.

So, I find myself a little stressed, a little fearful, and very hopeful that God will not leave me alone in all this.  I’ve got to take each day, each task, each meeting, each demand, and each expectation as they come, and I need to give myself a moment to breathe.

In the company of the ones I love…

Little do men perceive what solitude is, and how far it extendeth.
For a crowd is not company, and faces are but a gallery of pictures,
and talk but a tinkling cymbal, where there is no love.
- Francis Bacon

I surprise myself in my loneliness because I have such an adventurous soul.  I’ve traveled using my dancing as a means to see different places, and I went to college in Ohio because I wanted to experience something new and exciting.  However, as I look back on all those experiences I remember one thing very clearly – I felt completely and totally lonesome through it all.

I don’t do well living alone.  When I come home after a long day (which for me is everyday), I need someone who truly loves me to hear me say, “I’m home.”  God has truly made me to be married one day, but until then, I rely on my parents and close friends to make me feel needed.

When I moved back home with my parents last year, I found myself becoming healthier, slimmer, and more joyful.  Not only was I able to find comfort sleeping in my own room and spending time with my family, but I found myself surrounded by all my close friends that encourage and hug me daily.   To have people that recognize my existence is powerful.

There are people out there that thumb their noses at me saying that a 24 year old woman should be out on her own.  Here’s what I have to say to those people:

First of all:  Thank you so much for sharing your profound wisdom with me, but I’m telling you now that I’ll move out when I’m financially ready.  I’ve already proven that I can live on my own, but I’d rather be happy.

Second of all:  I’m on my own path of awesomeness, and I’m trusting God for His timing.

Third: I’ve always dreamed that the reason I truly leave my parents house would be to move in with my husband, and in this crazy world of dating, I like having the accountability of living at home.  It has and will continue to safeguard my purity.

I believe that life is too short to not share it with the ones you love.

184 Words…

Where is my confidence?
I hesitate in taking those red right turns.
Passages are blurred.
Life is as fickle as a question mark.

Where is my person?
I pause building my castle in the sky.
Substitutions are weighed.
Life is pulling me out of this fantasy.

Where is my focus?
I see the hourglass sands fall too fast.
Mouths are closed.
Life is a future date without a face.

Where is my answer?
I unwind with the opening of my heart.
Words are written.
Life is charming when I look at Him.

How should I run?
I build my momentum in these simple tasks.
Sins are absolved.
Life is too hard to face with soiled hands.

How should I search?
I bound myself to my heart’s desires.
Dreams are clues.
Life is magical when you await a prince.

How should I speak?
I need to finally stop holding my breath.
Words are calculated.
Life is all about controlling the bad exhalations.

How do I live?
I listen for Him in every split second
Deceptions are branded.
Life with Christ will unfetter my heart.

I was made for this!

There are days (more than I would like to admit) where I step into the studio feeling less than adequate with sloppy technique and a few too many pounds.  But, then, I have fabulous days like this where I recognize that I was made for this!  My entire life, God has been prepping and molding my mind and body for this art form!  In times of adversity, He always provided a way for me to keep going.  Believe me, I’m not that hard of a worker, and I very easily loose hope.  I think it’s a miracle that I’m still dancing and LOVING every minute it.  I think it’s even more of a miracle that I look to the future and recognize that my best days of dancing, choreographing, and teaching are still to come!  I find myself feeling in awe of God’s direction and provision.  It doesn’t matter if I’m “up to par.”  It doesn’t matter what people think.  They can love me or hate me.  They can even boo me off the stage! I was called to this, and that, my friends, is a dream come true!

Love this:

“Reality, in fact, is always something you couldn’t have guessed. That’s one of the reasons I believe Christianity. It’s a religion you couldn’t have guessed.” – CS Lewis “The Case for Christianity”

Take initiative! God will do the rest!

“Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened. Or which one of you, if his son asks him for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a serpent? If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him!” –Matthew 7:7-11

Some quotes from Erwin McManus, “Seizing Your Divine Moment”

“The most important moments rarely come at a convenient time.”

“The present moment is where the past and the future collide, and within a moment there is monumental potential. That’s the mystery of a moment. It is small enough to ignore and big enough to change your life forever.”

I have robbed myself of God’s daily blessings because I’m so set on every dream in my life happening at just the right moment that’s convenient for me – thinking that destiny is going to happen when everything is perfect. I came to a place years ago when nothing was happening with my dancing – I literally had no work, no ambition, no vision for my future. I was mad at God for placing such an intense desire in my heart for dancing and choreographing, until someone shook me awake saying, “Melissa, God isn’t going to bring someone to your front door to hand you a dancing job!!” I felt so stupid! I needed to be actively seeking after the dreams God put in my heart. Once I stepped out, He blessed everything!! I didn’t know what the outcome would be, but I felt God pulling me to knock on doors…so I did.

We have put so much emphasis on avoiding making mistakes in life that we have become virtually blind to the endless opportunities for good. We protect ourselves not only from the bad things but from the good things as well. You cannot follow God on the side lines – we must be active in our pursuit of Him. In the same way, we cannot approach our dreams as if they will somehow magically appear. I wanted a dance career, and I needed to step out in front of the world with that dream in order for it to happen. He gave us our dreams for a reason. He wants them to motivate us in pursuing adventure in our everyday lives. If there is one hidden truth to “seizing our divine moment”, it is that we need take initiative! God will do the rest!

Veggie Tales

I love it!  I used to watch them all the time, and I had no excuse.  I didn’t babysit kids that loved them…I rented the movies and bought them for myself!  I found this link on youtube and I had to post this link…It’s one of my all time favorite songs!!  Although, I don’t know if the person who posted this on youtube has the rights to it….

Make my Latte a Venti!

I watched this video on youtube and immediately felt a blog post coming on:

How often do we hear marketing campaigns encourage us to overindulge in the pleasures of life?

Even in Christian circles, people say, “Go ahead, you need to indulge every now and then!”

These are lies! In my life, every time I’ve chosen my own self indulgent path, I’ve fallen on my face, but as soon as I practiced self-control, I’ve found myself in the best health (physically, spiritually, and emotionally).

I believe that self-control is a strong mark of a Christian. We follow the One who said, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself” (Luke 9:23).
Everything in moderation is the key, and I believe this to be truth. However, there are certain areas of my life where it is much easier to say “no” to everything than to say “just a little bit.” We all need to know ourselves and recognize the areas of our life where we are too easily tempted.

I know that good things come to those who wait!!! Just like the kid in the video…. If we wait for the incredible things in life, God will reward us ten fold!!

Tim Nagel – my hero!

My dad just put together this movie about my brother! It’s going to be played at his school next week. I’m so proud of him! Enjoy…

An article annoyed me this morning…

On Yahoo this morning, there was an article about Britain releasing a list of people that are not welcome in their country.

“The government opposes extremism in all its forms and I am determined to stop those who want to spread extremism, hatred and violent messages in our communities from coming to our country. This is the driving force behind tighter rules on exclusions for unacceptable behavior.”

At first glance, this all sounds great. Good for them. They’re standing up for what’s right.

However, this “unacceptable behavior” mentioned includes individuals that are outspoken about their conservative far right views.

They even have the audacity to line these individuals up with well known gang leaders and murderers.

Far left extremists are mysteriously and conveniently excluded from this list.

I don’t know these “far right conservative” people that Britain is banning, and they very well might be appalling people. However, I read this article and thought to myself, “it’s only a matter of time before Great Britain lists all “Christians” and “Catholics” as extremists like murderers, and people will love them for it.

I’ve found this week to be healing and surprising.

Oh what a difference a few days can make!

On Sunday afternoon, I cried, stomped around my room, wrote a nasty email and then erased it, tried to figure out my life by reading a self help book… I spent that entire afternoon trying to come up with a way to fix myself – my love life – my brain, until I felt God telling me to STOP, THINK SIMPLE THINGS, BE HONEST WITH YOURSELF….One day at a time, Melissa. One day at a time.

The truth is that I love the simple things in life – laughing at a fart, hugging people, smiling, and going to the movies (especially Star Trek!). But, sometimes in the midst of my desires to keep things simple, I make things way too complicated. I tend to let my dreams and goals take over my peace of mind. I let them run my life. I think too much – I talk too much. I laugh too little…

This week I was determined to find some peace:

On Monday, I worked and thought about simple things.

On Tuesday, I worked and was honest with myself….

On Wednesday, I worked, and I went out with my friends to see Fiddler on the Roof! So amazing… good musicals give me chills and make me feel alive.

On Thursday, I thought about simple things and found myself being very honest with myself and others. By the night’s end, I found myself surprised by how that honesty brought so much peace.

It’s always when I sit back and put my hands up that life starts making sense. I’m looking at each day as an adventure. The fun is in knowing that I have no idea how anything is going to turn out, but God will be there with me every step of the way.